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THE JAMES BOND GRUB CLUB DINING EVENT
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
This is the week to immerse yourself in all things Bond. Let Bond wash over you, invite him up to your room and allow him to unzip your dress and... you get the idea. This Wednesday take a trip to the heart of Bond for a Grub Club Exclusive, For Your Eyes Only at the Counter Vauxhall Arches just a stone’s throw across the road from MI6's HQ. Upon arrival you'll get a waiter, vertically challenged with a french accent, welcome you with a tray of Bollinger. However the manager, rakish and with three nipples, will shoot the cork off with his golden gun from across the bar before you've had the chance to shout "Goodnight? Where are you?"
Of course I jest. You will be treated to a Vauxhall Vespa Martini minus the theatrics. "I'm American, where I'm from we sip our cocktails," said Leon the manager of the venue. "So I've removed the Lillet, replaced it with cointreau and smoothed it out with some Bombay Sapphire." You will be treated to a five course dinner, starting with a Salt & Pepper Squid with Black Ink Aioli, with an additional green chilli salsa. Pedro my Portuguese waiter was most apologetic that the colour of the green chilli salsa consisting of mint, lime and jalapeno was more Tuscany Green than Vibrant Leaf. Naturally I told him he'll have to double his efforts and that I won't be tipping as a result. However the Bacon Mac and Cheese balls in breadcrumbs was as Roger himself would say "quite revealing" and a wonderful equaliser.
On to the main, my glamorous associate Ms Parker had the medium rare fillet of steak with Bearnaise sauce which was anything but 'skewered' as Danny boy would say, whilst I was presented the Pork belly with sweet potato and Boston baked beans. I also indulged in a side order of veg and avocado (Here's a little avocado trivia I picked up on the night, avocados keep your boobs from sagging apparently. If that is true they should really put that on the packaging, the sales of avocados in my village alone would double over night, and I’m talking both men and women here). On the night you'll be serenaded with all the James Bond songs, though hopefully the god awful Die Another Day Madonna song will be removed from the jukebox. I didn't see any Phuyuck on the wine list but there is a wonderful Zinfadel Californian wine which is far from scented, and worthy of even Rogers sensitive palate.
To finish you'll be treated to a poached pear, though don't forget to check the menu for other luxury dishes such as the the fried apple pie and the Asian sea bass to name but a few. All set within a beautiful 200 ft long Manhattan inspired space in Vauxhall (or Vo-Ho as its becoming known). Sales of the tickets are going fast so don't delay and be sure to check out the Christmas menus available online.