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TOP 10 SUMMER 2014 MENSWEAR FAUX PAS
SEASONAL STYLE GRIPES
Finally. Summertime! Time to stuff our Crombies and woolen trousers to the back of our long-suffering wardrobes, roll up those sleeves and fish out the sunnies.
But what’s your look going to be for this blessed season? Of course, the answer to this is up to the individual, so the best place to start would be what NOT to wear. So here are some of my Summer sins of style, hopefully this will be a step in the right direction. Enjoy!
Who Wears Short Shorts?
When you lean over to whisper sweet nothings to that saucy chica you just met at the cabana, I’m pretty sure she’s not expecting the "big reveal" just yet, so to speak. No matter how keen she is. Keep your modesty guys!
On the flip side, ¾ length ANYTHING is also a huge no-no. It’s very unflattering, and if you’re already vertically challenged then this will make you look even shorter. A tailored short that sits just above the knee is a much sharper look for this Summer.
Wrap Around Shades
Ewwwwww. Nuff said. Stick with a classic Wayfarer style Rayban, it is a timeless essential and suits pretty much every face shape.
Deep Vee Disaster
Oh... the deep vee t-shirt is a strong look. Normally teamed with an over-generous application of wet look gel and a couple of tram-lines shaved in to one eyebrow. Don’t do it!
Even if you’ve been working on your physique, a well-fitting crew neck tee is much more effective at highlighting the contours of your bulging pectorals.
Always. Apply. SUNBLOCK.
Bad move! Rihanna can pull off the saucy tanlines, but alas, she’s a damn sight hotter than you [probably]. Make sure you wear the correct factor for your skin type and always moisturize after extended periods in the sun, otherwise your face will look like a piece of beef jerky by the time you reach 40.
Moisturise the Mankles
As the summer sun finally begins to surface, by all means do flash those ankles. A woven loafer with no socks is a great look. But by the beard of Zeus, moisturise man! There’s nothing worse than "shoe dandruff". Yep. It’s a thing.
No Need for Beads
Of any kind. Necklace or bracelet. Are you a) a bonafide surfer dude or b) hanging with Marge and Harold down on Ramsey street - no? Bin. The. Beads. Keep your accessories minimal.
Thank the Lord, this trend met it’s end when JLS split up. Another unflattering look that knocks about a foot off of your height, and it makes you walk like you’ve had a little accident. If you’re not sure about skinnies then a pair of indigo slims are a sure-fire winner and creates a much better silhouette.
Ah the age-old trend of wearing no shirt the second it creeps above 15 degrees. There is a special "breed" of male that enjoys this look. Normally teamed with a dead good baseball cap with the St. Georges flag emblazoned across the front, clutching a kingsize can of warm Skol. If you’re on your holidays, then sure you can whip that top off, but this is not a good look for the UK!
Get The Jesus Look
A man’s feet are, for the most part, kept covered up for a reason. THEY ARE NASTY. However as the warmer months draw in, you may have to inflict them upon the unwitting public.
If you do happen to look after your feet [it’s now socially acceptable for a man to get a pedicure] and you have managed to make those misshapen talons a little more palatable, then go for a simple single or double strap sandal. Don’t step out of the house looking like a Roman Centurion.