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5 WAYS TO TREAT YOUR PREGNANT MISSUS
PUT ON THE MAN PANTS AND STEP UP TO THE PROVERBIAL PLATE
So now you have a walking talking baby incubator in the house and whether it was planned for or not, the moment has arrived for you to put on the man pants and step up to the proverbial plate. The vox populi will tell you to read all the necessary books and accompany her to pregnancy classes etc. But here are some alternatives that will get you the much needed brownie points.
ALCOHOL FREE COCKTAILS
You saw it work for Tom Cruise right? Introducing the revolutionary Seedlip Garden 108, the second addition to the Seedlip family – the world’s first distilled non-alcoholic spirit brand. Inspired by the English countryside, Garden 108 is a green and floral blend of copper-pot distillates including handpicked peas and hay from the founder’s family farm and traditional herbs including spearmint, rosemary and thyme - best sipped long with elderflower tonic.
“With Garden 108 I wanted to recreate the memories of sitting in our fields eating peas with my grandfather as a young boy and offer people an adult and delicious drink with a complex profile. We have an exciting summer planned!” - Ben Branson, Founder.
You might have seen Seedlip served already if you frequent the likes of Dandelyan, The Savoy, Mandarin Oriental, The Ledbury, Sexy Fish, Chiltern Firehouse, Clove Club, Hand & Flowers and The Fat Duck. If not, maybe borrow your mate’s waistcoat and cocktail shaker and rustle up some of these for her:
Garden & Elderflower: 50ml SEEDLIP Garden, 100ml Fever Tree Elderflower, Build over ice in a highball, Garnish with a Cucumber Ribbon.
Green fingers: 60ml SEEDLIP Garden, 10ml Cucumber Shrub, Stir down martini style, strain into a coupe, Garnish with a sprig of young Lemon Thyme.
Keep posting pictures of her on Facebook calling her "the most beautiful baby incubator in the world." Obviously post flattering pictures and not the ones of her keeled over on the couch asleep with bits of dribble crawling down her chin. You'll look like you've just graduated from Boyfriend school with First-Class Honours.
GET OUT OF THE WAY
Buy shed tonnes of DVD boxsets (you should know what she's into by now) and get a small gathering of her friends together (only the ones that like you) - fill the fridge with fruit and chocolates and get the hell out of the house. It will do her the world of good to know you've gone to a load of trouble, whilst you can also go and see the guys for a night around the pub. Don't spend all the savings though, that'll completely undo all your hard work thus far.
GET A PUNCHBAG
This is an all around good idea. The missus will be doing a lot of venting and you're going to have to soak up all of her hormonal outpourings like a sponge. Getting a punch bag will help you dispense of that negative energy. It will even get you in shape and you can start training before she has even had a chance to say, "ADDDriiiiiaann!".
DO SOME USEFUL HOMEWORK
Why not do a little research on the local schools and colleges that have all the best graduation records. Which ones have sent the most to the likes of Oxford and Cambridge? For private schools, use The Good School Guide book or visit UCAS to check which schools were the best for gaining entry into the best Universities. It will send a message of intent to the missus that even if the kid flunks out of college to pursue a career as a professional model, at least you did all you could.