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Feet Sizes, Styling Big and Small

Seriously, how often do you look at a guy’s shoes?” Asked Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption as Tim Robbins strolls past a security guard wearing the Wardens shoes. Answer is, ALL THE TIME! It's the part of the film my bullcrap alarm goes off because even the sound of those clogs tapping along that stone floor would have made Andy Dufresne sound like Roy Castle and Bruce Forsyth having a dance off.

So there's definitely a few do's and do the hell-not's depending on what end of the size spectrum your feet are at. If you have tiny dolls feet then do not buy a standard size and pad out the toes with toilet paper. Guys, you know how disappointing it is when girls do that with their bras right? Same rules apply, and you could actually save a ton of money buying child sizes instead.

Like with any deficiency or handicap, you have to own it. If someone notices you have small feet at least that's an icebreaker. Maybe come back with something like "At least I break the small feet equals small cock myth." One of the other great benefits of having small feet is that you can actually get tailor made shoes. So many guys are between sizes and just struggle to find a perfect fit. Or they'll harp on about how one foot is bigger than the other and how god made them so wonderfully unique. Yet if you go to places like itailorshoes.com you can get a perfect fit for your twinkle toes, and Clarks offer sizes 5 and 6.

Now if your needle swings the other way and you leave the kind of footprints that Matthew Broderick could stand in and ask "What is it? What am I looking at?" (Timely Godzilla ref) then here's what you do. Just like black is slimming for chubsters, same rules apply for your feet. Of course don't wear anything to accentuate your size 14's. Wear round tops, no pointy shoes (ever!) and perhaps don't rock tapered jeans either. But as for the shoe itself, check out Premier Man who offer up to a size 16 or Friedman's Shoes who cater for big feet and supply trainers for Basketball players such as Magic Johnson, Shaquille O'Neal, and Michael J Fox. Not really Michael J Fox, I was just making sure you were paying attention. Although he did star in Teenwolf, the best basketball film in history. Ah but then there's Hoosiers with Gene Hackman! Sorry, where was I?

Peter Brooker

Peter is a published author on men's style, a huge James Bond fanatic and the host of our very own Menswear Style Podcast. His new book 'From Tailors with Love: An Evolution of Menswear Through the Bond Films' is available now.

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