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THE CLICHÉS THAT BLOGGERS LOVE TO USE
THE TOP LINES THAT MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AND ARE CHURNED OUT DAILY
As someone once said "blogging isn't writing, it's graffiti with punctuation." A lot of bloggers are hacks and believe me, I am in no way taking myself out of that equation. Sometimes the well runs dry and we resort to descriptions that are utterly vapid. Here are the top lines that mean absolutely nothing and are churned out daily by bloggers who simply can't help themselves.
BREADTH OF ABILITY
Often chucked around by car journos when they need to fill up some column inches. It basically means the car has great range, but then so has my Dad's porn collection. It means nothing, yet somehow encapsulates everything doesn't it.
This is one for you whisky hacks. Unless you're referring to the after tastes of my see-through salty bits then I have zero interest in anything with a woody finish. I'll just take it as a given that anything that's been sitting in a wooden cask for more than ten years will have a woody finish.
ICONIC or STYLISH
It's moronic to hear fashion journos describe clothes as Iconic or Stylish. I bet the same guys that describe clothes as stylish still nominate Jennifer Aniston in Maxim's hottest girl of the year. Jennifer Aniston is not that hot, it's just all they know. Christina Hendricks is a vision on the vanguard of all that is holy. She's hot property, Mayfair on Monopoly. Jennifer Aniston is hot and iconic. Get my point?
This one cracks me up. Mainly used by people that describe sneakers, and I actually haven't quite figured out what they're referring to even now. I'm guessing, it's the outline of the shoe/trainer, but crap knows what makes it strong. It's also used by car journos every now and then and how car journos love to personify their cars. They talk about a grill of the car having confidence. What the heck is that? Does a car with a sloped grill have self-esteem issues?
Urggggh. Talk about empty calories. Yes it's progressive, it's cutting edge, but fashion forward? Fashion by its very definition is transient, so to say anything is fashion-forward defies logic. Fashion forward today, is retro tomorrow, and so on and bleating on.
FALLS BETWEEN THE STALLS
Mainly used by film journos that can't quite make out what they're watching. In America they call this a 'Tweener' movie because it's between genres. Journos don't like this because they like to label stuff. In a way I guess we all do, it's what we know. It's also like a rhyming Palindrome. However it's horribly clichéd and journos should stop trying to pigeon-hole art to make their jobs easier. Listening Kermode?
Someone should tell the vodka brands that it's physically impossible for alcohol to refresh anything. It's a natural dehydrator, no matter how hot the model is that's drinking it with his shirt off, or how much condensation is dripping down the glass. Science is not on your side.
TRANSCENDS THE SEASONS
These words are kept in a treasure trove of a few journos brains and churned out constantly when he or she is all out of other clichés. It basically means that you can wear whatever you want, all year round. I personally love it when copywriters crap out that phrase on Vests or Fleece-lined Artic-Windcheaters.
*Freelancer image via Shutterstock